Chocolate Humor

  • If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
  • The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE!
  • Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces.
  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, chocolate is therapeutic.
  • There's nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with CHOCOLATE.
  • This guy found a bottle on the ocean, and he opened it and out popped a genie, and he gave him three wishes. The guy wished for a million dollars, and poof! there was a million dollars. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! there was a convertible. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women... poof! he turned into a box of chocolates.
  • Exercise is a dirty word... Every time I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
  • I don't understand why so many "so called" chocolate lovers complain about the calories in chocolate, when all true chocoholics know that it is a vegetable. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, 'nuff said.
  • I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.
  • I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?
  • I'm a serious chocoholic. For the serious chocoholic, chocolate is better than sex. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate!!!
  • Life is like a box of chocolates - you never know what you're going to get!
  • Put "Eat Chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
  • The problem: how to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: eat it in the parking lot.
  • If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

 

Back To Chocolate Details